She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
