I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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