I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
