I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
