when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
