using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
