I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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