Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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