I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
