you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
