he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
