twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
