We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
pray to the hookup gods
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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