Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
