why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
