she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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