doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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