I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
