nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
