I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
