Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize