we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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