But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i've created a new STD.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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