I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My life is pants optional.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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