who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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