I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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