I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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