Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
