its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
