smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
