she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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