So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Someone shit on the floor
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
