we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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