It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
