I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im holly from the hills drunk
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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