just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
