do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
