im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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