I'm really into asian looking animals
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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