we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
