He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
