Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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