I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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