# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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