so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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