its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
