Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
