I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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