grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You ruined the universe
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
