I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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