Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
