weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
